Friday, 13 July 2012

#WriCha: Secret Diaries by Charlotte Blackwell

Prompt:
Follow a rumour around a high school/secondary school. How does it develop? What happens to the victim(s)? Write about it.

Secret Diaries 


The first day of school is always difficult, but when you’re the new girl it’s even harder. It’s been three years since I’ve been to “traditional” school. Mom thought home schooling was the best option for me, she was right. With all the doctor appointments and illness, home schooling gave me the flexibility I needed to succeed. I went from barely passing to an honor student winning awards. Today is when thing will change, I’m going back to school. This is my first year of high school and I know it will be hard, but I want the full high school experience. I’ve dreamt of home coming and prom for long enough, now it’s time to live it.
My name is Brooklyn Summers and this is my first diary entry as a freshman. I’ve never kept a diary before, so I don’t really know how this works, but I don’t want to forget a thing. These are supposed to be the best years of my life and I will have them documented forever.


Day One,
Today I’m keeping it low key, wearing a pair of Gap skinny jeans, a fitted white blouse with short poof sleeves and black ballet style flats.  I straightened my hair allowing the long brown layers to frame my face. My bus comes in a few minutes, so I guess I’ll write more when I get home.
***
The buss arrives at 8:25AM and I board with the other ten students at my stop. I know a few of them from years ago, before I was home school, but I just smile and take my seat. The hardest part about home schooling was the kids that made fun of me. They assumed that I wasn’t getting the same education as them and that only stupid kids are home school. I don’t know if I want to be friends with anyone from my previous school. The good thing about high school is all the new faces. I can make friends with the kids from other middle schools that know nothing about me and have judgements yet.

At the next stop a tall slender girl, with long black curly hair gets on and walks to my seat. “Hey is this seat taken?”
“Naw, go right ahead,” I smile.
“Thanks my name’s Jasmine.”
“Hi Jasmine, I’m Brooklyn. So what grade are you going into?”
“I’m a freshman, what about you?”
“Yeah me too.”
“Cool, well I guess we both know someone now. Maybe we can meet up for lunch or something. I’m trying to start fresh this year and get away from all the morons that I went to middle school with.”
With a slight chuckle I agree. We continue to get to know one another for the next ten minutes until our bus reaches the school.
“Brooklyn, do you wanna walk in together and get our schedules? Maybe we’ll have some classes together.”
“Sure, I would love that.”
***
Walking through the halls is different. I’m so used to being in the comfort of my own home. I feel eyes staring at me, not just because people are wondering who I am, there’s lots of new faces in high school. It’s something else. I get the feeling they are disgusted by me. I don’t understand what for. How could any of these people even know me?
Walking to Science class a tall girl bumps into me, I’m pushed back into the lockers. She swipes her shorter black hair out of her face and says, “Watch it you little bitch. We know all about you and your creepy family around here so I suggest you keep to yourself and watch your back.”
“What on earth could you know about my family?” I snark back.
“We know what your daddy does, he probably does it to you too. You are nothing but a group of little perverts.”
“You know nothing, and if you want to believe crap that comes out of some lying bitch’s mouth than you can just go screw yourself!”
“Yeah, in your dreams. You would like that wouldn’t you? Just keep your dirty-ass crap to yourself and keep me out of it.” She says storming off.

With my pulse racing I look for the closest girls room. Pushing through the door and fighting back every emotion in my body, I lock myself in the nearest stall. I can’t believe that little bitch Tegan. How could she do this to me again? I can’t wait till this day is over.
***
Well I made it through my first day of high school, and even made a friend. I’m not sure what was going on though because I got some of the strangest looks from the other students. I even went to the bathroom to check if my period leaked through my pants or something. No one would talk to me except for Jasmine, luckily Jas and I have some classes together.
Unfortunately it wasn’t all good. Tegan decided to pick the same high school as me. Tegan lives on the same block as me and we’ve never really gotten along. Since we shared a lot of the same friends we were forced to hang out, but she always has to make my life a living hell. I hope she can just accept that I refuse to pretend to be her friend ant more. She likes to cause shit for me and mom says she’s a bad influence. Again I agree.
A few years ago, before I was home schooled Tegan told everyone my dad hit her. Of course he didn’t, daddy is the best. He told her to leave because she refused to pick up after herself. No one wanted to be friends with me because she had them all scared of my dad. I refuse to put up with crap like that again.    
Today some girl wasn’t very welcoming and said she knew about me and my family. Before the end of last school year Tegan caused a few more problem. I tried to brush them under the rug, but she crossed the line. She told people my dad was “inappropriate” with her. That is such a crock! Daddy works out of town and when he is home, he is always with the family. When would he even have time to do anything like that to her? She told everyone that my family was “creepy”. I thought it was just the friends we shared in an attempt to get them away from me. Of course anyone that knows my family knows she was lying and sided with me. I guess she took it further and told other people too. I have to put a stop to this, but how. I know she’s just trying to hurt me with her rumors, but this is real bad. This kind of rumor could really destroy my family, put my dad in jail or worse.
As the tears swell in my eyes, I slam my diary shut. Unable to fight my anger and hurt anymore the tears begin to free fall down my face and I begin to sob uncontrollably. I can’t handle this pain anymore. I know a few people that have cut before, I never understood it though. I’ve been told it’s a way to release the inner pain into physical pain. Looking for something I rummage through my bathroom cabinet and find a blade I use for pedicures. Unwrapping the sharp blade I stare at it, wondering if it will take away the pain I feel for my family. With a deep breath I hold the blade to my wrist, pushing hard I drag it along the skin and watch as the blood begins to pour out. While it stings I do feel a kind of release, so I drag the bloody blade across my wrist again and again. With a quick look at the blade I see the blood run along the length of the blade and slowly drip off the corner.
As the tears slow I grab a towel and wrap my wounds, now wondering; what the hell did I just do and how am I ever going to hide this? With heavy feet I run to my bed and toss my body across the pillow top mattress. Questions begin to fill my head, what on earth did I just do? This isn’t me; I am so much stronger than this. Or am I?
A light knock on the door sends panic through my body. My parents can’t see what I just did, they will be so hurt. “I’m just lying down for a few minutes.” I shout through the door.
“Hey Brooklyn, it’s me Jasmine. Can I come in?”
“Yeah, sure,” Sitting up on my bed, I grab my pillow to cover my self-inflicted injury.
The door opens and my new friend comes and plops down beside me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you today and had to make sure you’re okay.”
“Thanks, but I’m really not. Can you keep a secret?”
“Yeah of course, you can tell me anything,” she wraps her arms around me.
As the tears begin to fall again, I slowly lift the pillow and hold out my arm to the girl I only met today.
“Oh my God Brooklyn, what did you do?”
“I...I just wanted the pain to stop.”
“Hunny this isn’t going to do it. Don’t let this little bitch do this to you, don’t let her beat you.”
“I know, you’re right; I regretted it right after I did it. How on earth am I going to hide this?”
Jasmine takes a deep breath and pulls off some of her rubber band bracelets, sliding them onto my wrist. “Here, friendship bracelets. Now every time you see them you can know that I’m here for you. I do want you to make me a promise though; I never want you to do this again. If you need anything, you call me and we can get past it together.”
“I’d really like that, thank you.” She moves in closer and gives me a much needed hug.  
***
I have been good at keeping my promise to Jasmine and have never hurt myself like that again. I think this whole fiasco has made me stronger. For the most part the crap has passed and people are getting to know me and love my family. I know I couldn’t have gotten through any of it without Jasmine; she’s been my biggest supporter and has even encouraged me to follow my dreams of becoming a performer. Now today she’s coming with me to meet some record producer that saw one of the Youtube video she put up of my singing.  He contacted her and then my mom and now we are headed to New York City to meet with him.
“Hey Brook are you ready to go, we don’t wanna miss our flight.” Mom hollers from down the stairs.
I grab my lime green suitcase from my daybed and start down the stairs. “Yeah mom I was just thinking about all that’s happened in the past few months.”
“It has been a crazy few months my girl. I’m so proud of you for the way you handled Tegan and didn’t let her mean words and accusations get to you.”
Guilt floods me; if mom ever knew what I did that first day of school she would kick my ass straight to the moon. “I don’t wanna think about all that. Let’s just enjoy this little trip we are getting and then real life can take over when we get back.”
“Real life, kiddo this is real life and I want you to believe in yourself for once.”
The taxi driver grabs our bags from the front step and puts them in the trunk of his white Sedan. We need to stop at Jasmine’s and get her then our flight leaves in two hours. We should have tons of time.
***
Mom, Jazzy and I walk through JFK to the baggage claim area and see a tall thin woman holding a small sign with my name on it.
“Hey, I’m Brooklyn.” I say walking closer to the pretty blond.
“Hi Brooklyn, Mr. Mark from Candy Apple records sent me here to help get you and your guests settled. I saw your video and was blown away. I think this may be a very good trip for you. Let’s get your bags, the limo is waiting outside.”
“LIMO?”
“Yes little girl, this is just the beginning so hold on for the ride of your life.” A soft smile forms across her face.
We gather our bags and begin a mini tour of NYC. The record label has booked us a suite at the Wistoria hotel and it’s amazing. The woman from the airport, Trina, said that Mr. Mark can’t wait to meet me and is wondering if we minded coming down to the label today. Of course we agree. She wasn’t lying when she told me to hold on.
***
Dear Diary,
I know I haven’t written much in the past six months, but things have been CRAZY. After the family moved to New York for me things haven’t stopped. Mr. Mark and Candy Apple have been so good to me. The mini tour I did in Europe blew my mind. How could all these people want to see me sing and dance? The internet is amazing, all this has happened to me because of the World Wide Web. Who would have thought?
Well today my debut album just hit number one on the billboard charts so I had to document this moment. “Your Lies” is being heard by millions. I just hope my songs and my experiences can help all the other kids out there. Bulling, rumors, abuse whatever it may be, no one deserves it and my records deals with it all. Mr. Mark was able to get all the crap about Tegan out of me. It turns out he checked out my face book wall and knew there was more to it. Mom wanted to kill the little bitch for what she put me through. She said she felt bad for not realizing how the rumors affected me. It was so wrong, but now we are using this as my platform to address the fans. I guess it’s working, Mr. Mark said I wasn’t alone and I’m just glad I can let other kids like me know they aren’t alone either.
I’ve been so blessed to be able to turn the pain I felt into something so amazing. I just wish everyone that suffers at the hands of others could do the same. Find what they love and make something of it. Thank god for Jazzy for standing by me, pushing me and supporting me. I just know there’s a Jazzy out there for everyone.
~~

What do you think of this story? And which one's been your favourite so far?

I also apologise for the lateness of this post, it should have been done yesterday. I assure you it won't happen again!

2 comments:

  1. Such a great story about how one person can make that much of a difference in your life. That one hug, smile or word of encouragement takes you down a new path. Bullying is such a cancer on the human race, yet in so many cases of people who are so richly artistic, it seems somewhere in the background someone belittled them, told them they were nothing, harassed them at home or school and yet they beat the bully by never letting go of their dreams! Bravo Charlotte! 5 stars if we are collecting stars! Thomas

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  2. Very good story Charlotte! It's tough to have to deal with the pain of ignorance and jealousy. Everyone needs a Jass in their life, someone to have their back and remind you that you truly are meant for greatness. :)

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